We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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