We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Found your dick twin last night
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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