I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Still dying that you shit outside
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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