You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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