Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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