Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
