Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
