i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
