Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Randomize
