HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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