Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
