If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
