Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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