Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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