So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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