So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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