I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize