i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I will pee on everything he values.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
