walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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