Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
All I want is dick and wine.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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