PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
