I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize