he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
