I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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