I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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