I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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