Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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