that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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