JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize