Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize