he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
