cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize