She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
