16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
