I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
