We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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