I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
