New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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