I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
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