we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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