Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
When did angry sex become our thing?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
