so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I will be naked everywhere
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
