I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
