Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
