I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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