And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Randomize
