I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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