I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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