He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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