just tell him i said nine months
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
