Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
