watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
