friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
