i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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