Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
