Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
