im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize