i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
