I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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