Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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