Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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