Are we in a gay sports bar?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
