There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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