i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
