yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
